Have you ever bumped into someone that you knew at school and been amazed by their life?
It's a fairly common occurrence. We are very keen to measure our own lives against those of our contemporaries, and whilst we can pass over the successes of people we see on a regular basis, it is more difficult to ignore the differences when you bump into someone, talk to them, and find out that it's in the period of time you have spent apart they have married, had children, started a business, or whatever else they have achieved.
As individuals we see ourselves as our future selves. I'm not the me sat here dictating this post into my iPhone; I'm the me of 2015, the guy with the successful parenting website. When we achieve our dream goals, we've ticked them off. I've had my dream car for almost 3 years now so I no longer spend time thinking about how nice it would be or how much I deserve to own a Porsche or a Mercedes. This doesn't stop me spending hours researching and thinking about a Volkswagen campervan though! Realistically it's going to cost me about £15,000 to buy and restore one. This is too expensive at the moment and will take too much time for me to be able to consider a camper van restoration in the next two years. So how do I sate my desire for this cool retro possession?
Planning. I know that for two decades I looked forward to the idea of having children. When I was stuck in the moment, it seemed to take forever to get to the point where I was with my perfect partner and then we had our children. Today, with my son in town shopping with my wife, and my baby daughter asleep in her bedroom while I type out this blog, it seems as if they've always been there. When you've achieved your dream car, your dream job, financial stability, the biggest house in town, your own home cinema, or whatever is that you want to possess that has lead you to this website, it will very quickly seem as if you will have always been that successful person.
Achieving success is all about planning. Let's look at my week ahead. It's Christmas week, and there's a lot to do around the house. I need to paint the babies bedroom, hang picture frames in there, built a TV unit, finish the kitchen cabinets, tidy the house, clean the bathroom, and spend plenty of time and my son. Without a plan, I would anticipate starting all of these jobs but not finishing any of them.
The Forer Effect http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect includes a statement (used brilliantly on tv by Derren Brown) that describes most of the population. The key statement here that almost all of us 'thinking adults' will agree with is:
"You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage."
Does this describe you? Then realise this- we are all the same.
The friend that I described meeting at the beginning of this post might seem to have achieved more than you, but he won't see it that way. Very few people have the substance behind what they have achieved that permits them to be deeply proud of their lives. If I can get everything done that I need to do before Christmas, and I've completed it to the exact specifications of my plan, I'll be very proud of my achievements. Heck, it's only house work, I won't be sat here on Christmas day and boxing day thinking "I should have finished that, I should have painted that".
My five day plan
Tuesday 20th December
paint the front room, post my eBay parcels, hang the mirror in the bathroom
Wednesday 21st December
tidy the bedroom, tidy away all bits and pieces, hang the mirror in the downstairs bathroom, put up the babies curtain rail
Thursday 22nd December
paint the babies bedroom, hang pictures in the babies bedroom
Friday 23rd December
last-minute Christmas shopping, spend time with my lad
Saturday 24th December
build the TV unit
My five year plan
2012
achieve 60 blog posts on power parents, teach my boy to add and subtract to 10, get the back garden looking fantastic
2013
sell 500 copies of my book, teach my son to read, teach my daughter to count to 20, buy a MacBook Air
2014
Upgrade my car, take a fantastic four week family holiday, make £3000 from my blog, take my son to karate lessons once a week, design and build a dream bedroom with my daughter
2015
buy and restore a camper van with my son, take a camper van holiday every weekend during the summer, at the end of the year, move house to a larger property with potential for a games room and home cinema
Now that I know which year I will be buying and restoring a camper van, I don't need to spend time thinking about it. All of my targets are easily achievable, and even if I drop one or two i'll still be so ahead of where I would naturally be without a plan that i'll be proud.
There's a reason Steve Jobs left Apple with a five year plan. He knew that continuing succcess can't be spontaneous, it has to be scheduled.
Good luck everyone.
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